THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING

May 26, 2013
Being a first-time mother, I have a lot of methods and ideas that will make me an "ideal" parent for my "ideal" child, just like a lot of first-time mothers that I know. Of course, we're all aware that some of these techniques may be nearly impossible and that they may not turn out exactly how we expect, but we all have an idea of the type of mother we want to be and the characteristics, beliefs, and standards that we want our children to learn from us.
For those of us first, second, or even third-time mothers, who are exposed to multiple veteran mothers (and sometimes not-so veteran), we know that said mothers enjoy sharing their knowledge and "opening our eyes" to the realities of motherhood. This happens many times while we are pregnant, enduring the endless barrage of birthing stories and continuing once the baby arrives including, but not limited to: bath-time methods, the perfect potty-training procedures, naptimes, feeding schedules, discipline, etc. etc. etc.
Being pregnant for the first time and slightly sensitive to... well... everything, at times I would feel overwhelmed by the climbing number of good-intentioned advice and tips I received on a daily basis. I would sit on the edge of the bed, rub my eyes and remind myself over and over, "They are just trying to help. They are just trying to help. They are just trying to help." Finally, Chelsea was born and I suddenly understood why all of these women were sharing their knowledge with me. I had no idea what I was doing and, sadly, all the advice in the world couldn't make up for the lack of experience.
Every day is a new experience with new knowledge gained about your child. Each day from your experiences with him, you begin formulating your own method of motherhood that could never be replicated and is sometimes unfamiliar or even considered "ridiculous" in other's eyes. For some, this can be very degrading and even lower self-confidence in their mothering ability, but I say to you, mothers, the proof is in the pudding.

The proof is in the pudding (or the proof of the pudding is in the eating): the quality, effectiveness or truth of something can only be judged by putting it into action or to its intended use.

No one knows your child better than you do. They may say that she's too young to understand, that your method will never work or that it is down-right ridiculous, but the proof is in the pudding. How do they know that it won't work unless they see it put into action? Your child is completely and entirely yours and only you can really know what is best for them. Of course you must do some research and be open to new ideas, and never, EVER belittle someone for trying to help you (even if it isn't presented in the politest way possible), but in the end, you decide because no one is as invested in your child as you are. So reach for the ideal, strive for perfection, and never give up on progress! Decide what techniques will work best for your child and you and then do it, despite what others may say or think. The proof is in the pudding.

Happy Memorial Day, and thank you to all those who have sacrificed for the sake of our country!

-Sue

2 comments

  1. I couldn't have said it better myself! I totally agree. Hooray for Susan! Chelsea is such a blessed little girl to have you for her mother!

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  2. So true! And then, just when you think you are getting it figured out, they go and change their schedule on you, or you have another baby who is completely different than the first and you have to throw everything out the window and start all over. Okay, not everything :)

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