December 23, 2009

November 5, 2012
Honestly, this journal entry, December 23, 2009 when we first say I love you, KILLS me! What was I thinking? My poor, tortured, soon-to-be husband!

The things that I like about Andrew is that he's:
enjoyable to talk to
honest, handsome
talented (at soccer and other sports)
a worthy priesthood holder
would take me to the temple
will be a great father
loves children
could protect me
would take care of me
loves me (cares about me)

I think one of the things that I like best is that he could take care of me. I would never have to worry about that. He would do it.
So we haven't talked a lot, but the texting conversation that took place a couple days after we "officially" broke up, we started chatting on Facebook first, but that didn't work out so well, so he texted me. He told me that his dad had read him a poem that had helped him. So this is what he said:
"If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back, it never was.
But if it does, it was meant to be."
I asked him exactly what he thought about it and he said,
"Well, I'll tell you something. I prayed hard that night, I cried and I felt comfort in  your decision... I don't know what the future holds, but like the poem says, I love and care about you enough to let you go. To let you be happy, and if it's meant to be, you will come back..."
"This is really, REALLY hard..."
"You're telling me it's hard... One of the hardest things I've had to deal with,  but like you say, it's right. So as much as it hurts, I feel good. Just know that I'll be here for you. You're still someone that is very important to me, and I want you to be the happiest girl in the world..."
"I want the same for you... Thank you for telling me this. It was something I needed to hear. Thank you so much for being who you are and being a part of my life. I have learned so much from you and sincerely hope to learn more from you in the future. can I say I think that I've grown to love you? Would it be wrong?"

*C'mon, Sue! Over a text message?

"Absolutely not, Susan. In fact, I wanted to say the same thing... After all, I guess all the feelings that I have for you would be defined as love..."
"I already know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Why does this have to be so hard? I'm so impatient."
"I could ask you the same thing... But the Lord knows. That's all that matters. That's what I learned on Saturday night after I prayed..."
"Alright. So that's it. That's it, then. Not goodbye. Please not goodbye, but see ya later?"
"I like that. See ya later Susan... Until next time. :)"
"Until next time. Be happy. :)"
One question that I keep asking myself is did I act too quickly? Should I have studied the question out in my mind more before I broke it off with Andrew? Did I act too fast? The answer I've come up with is yes. I should have consulted the Lord more for that answer. Now it's much more difficult because it's hard to take back what I've done, but at the same time, I think that this is the right answer. When I go to school, things will be much easier... Maybe... Hopefully things will become more clear, anyway... All I know is that the Lord is going to take care of everything as long as I'm doing the best that I possibly can.

If any single women are reading this, take a tip from me... Do NOT tell a guy that you just mercilessly broke up with that you love him! Especially over a text message...


  1. I remember that weekend. Andrew was not fun to be around. Look at it this way, it all worked out well, right?

    1. Yes it did! The least I could do was marry the poor guy! :)


You left me a comment! *fist pump*

Powered by Blogger.