Should I Choose Lifestyle Newborn Photos?

 A few days ago, I asked my Instagram followers which session photos they liked better, lifestyle or wrapped/posed, and the majority voted lifestyle, but there may be a few of you out there who aren't sure, so let me talk to you about that for a sec.

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Tips for your Fresh 48 Session

The first 48 hours after the birth of your baby is one of the most magical times of  your life. Seeing their squishy faces, snuggling their warm, fuzzy bodies, and introducing them to their older siblings is something you always want to remember, which is why you hired a photographer. Now you want to make sure the session comes off without a hitch. Here are some tips to do just that!

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Can we PLEASE just take pictures?

Hey! It's been a bit since I've done a how-to, or advice post, but I think this is a common problem facing our society today and I just can't remain silent ANY LONGER!

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Tips for Transitioning from 2-3

K C   F I L M  +  P H O T O

Obviously, adding somebody new to a family is a huge change, but there's something about adding that third baby that brings that look into a parent's eyes. You know that fearful, haunted look I'm talking about.

Being a former pregnant-with-my-third-child-scared-look-in-my-eyes-lady, I can relate to you, and I can tell you from experience that you can survive it! And you can love it, too!

Here are a few things you can expect to change/increase/decrease/etc. when you add that third baby.

PRIORITIES

PRODUCTIVITY

GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE 

STRESS

SLEEP

DECIBELS

A lot of these things (if not all), you could have guessed because they've been on your mind ever since the thought of a third child even crossed your mind, so let me tell you the things I've done that have helped me survive acclimate to the new changes that come with that third baby.

PRIORITIES

Obviously your top priority is to survive the day with healthy children and your sanity still somewhat in-tact. Here are a few ideas that may help.

There are some needs that are purely physical and some that are mostly emotional. Your baby's needs are mostly physical. Most of the time, these needs can wait while you meet the emotional needs of the other two.

Food is definitely a priority and there are two things I've done that have really helped make that priority convenient. Freezer meals and Slow Cookers. Also, planning out your meals for the entire week will help A LOT!

PRODUCTIVITY

This has probably been the hardest part for me because I am a very productive person and tend to measure my success by what I've accomplished that day. So, I had to re-think my definition of productivity. So, instead of filling my to-do list with tasks that need to be performed, I fill it with deeds that need to be done. "Play with Alexa," "Paint with Chelsea," and "Snuggle with Barrett" have frequented my list.

GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE

If you can wait until the evening or get your significant other to go for you, do it, but sometimes, you just HAVE to leave your house during the day. My suggestion is to strap 'em on and strap 'em down! That translates to, "Baby wearing and cart/stroller restraints."

That one-on-one time is so important for you and your children (and husband)! If you have to find a babysitter to get some, do it. So many good memories are made with your children individually.

Make sure you make some time for yourself, too! Let Dad be Dad and allow him opportunities to take care of all the kids himself from time-to-time!

STRESS

The sun will rise, the sun will set, and you'll take every day one at a time, just like you always have. Don't stress too much about it. You're going to figure it out.

Really encourage your children to play together. That way, you *might* get some quiet time that you need and it will build family relationships, even if that bonding happened over ripped sheets on the bed-slide they decided to make. #faceslap

Involve the older two in taking care of the babe! It's time they helped pull their weight around the house, and they'll probably like the feeling of responsibility and trust you're placing in them (sometimes.)

Movies are a GREAT tool. Getting home from outings is one of the most stressful times of day for me. If I can just get the kiddos inside and turn on a movie, it gives me just the break I need to get settled back into the house-groove.

SLEEP

Sleep? What is this thing you call, "sleep." Ha ha. I can't really give tried-and-true advice about this one, because I'm not great at it, but I do know this: It's important and I do a lot better if I've had some.

DECIBELS

9 times out of 10, Barrett's crying when I lose my cool. The thing that works best for me is taking him out of the situation by putting him in his room for just a minute, and helping the other two.

Even though Chelsea doesn't take naps anymore, I've maintained that time during the day as "quiet time" where I can have some time to myself. It's good for my sanity and emotional well-being. She plays with toys in a separate room, watches a movie, paints, or anything else that is non-destructive and on the quieter side. Getting her to do this is easiest when I get her started, but that's a post for another day!

LOVE

Of course I couldn't let this post go without saying something about how much love grows in your family when that third baby arrives. I truly believe that there is something special about that third child. They bring a special kind of peace and joy into your home and I think that everyone can feel it.

Hopefully these tips helped one of you out there. If not, hopefully this will:

c/o

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Toys | Our favorites + Mommy Style Monday

As a mom, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of one of those big ball pits they used to have at McDonalds, but instead of balls, it's toys. If you're a mom, I'm sure you can relate.

Why my kiddos need so many toys, I don't know, and how we keep accumulating toys when I regularly go through and throw out or giveaway the ones we don't use anymore, is a total mystery. In fact, poor Alexa didn't even get any real toys for her birthday because we are practically swimming in them (she got a book and some homemade sock puppets instead #momoftheyear).

Anyway, when it comes to toys and interests, I feel like my kids have A MILLION! And they go through phases, although there are a few that hold true like coloring, painting, playing pretend with beanie babies, and the doll house that was mine when I was a kid. But the best toys are the ones that mom and dad have an interest in playing with, too, because when it comes to play time, most kid's favorite toys are their parents.

So here are a few of our favorite toys to play with together:

DUPLO LEGOS | MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS - we like to create farms, make towns, towers, sort colors, etc. and who doesn't want to be a part of a band?

MARBLE RUNNER - seriously. so fun.

BOOKS - my kids love a good story and this 5 minute star wars story book is definitely one that I don't mind reading often!

PAINTING | ART - we like to paint with water colors, or just color with crayons. it's especially fun when we draw pictures for other people!

BLOCK TRAIN - Barrett loves sucking on all the different shape, color, and size blocks and it's fun for the older girls to switch up the blocks and wheel it around, too!

SNAPCHAT - duh.

ACTION FIGURES | BEANIE BABIES - i love listening to their imaginations and different voices as they play with + speak for their little characters and be honest... you still have your beanie babies, don't you?

One thing that CAN NOT be denied is how much fun it is to watch your kids play and to have a good time, but that "good time" part doesn't always apply, as was apparent this weekend at Chelsea's first soccer game.

This pic seriously CRACKS ME UP! You never know how your kiddo's going to react to a new situation! It wasn't too long ago that this reaction to the game that Andrew and I both love more than any other would have got me down, but that's a post for another day. Let's just say, my expectations aren't set to "perfect" anymore, and that's been good for me and my daughter.

As for the "Mommy Style" part of this post, I'd say the best style you can sport when playing with your kids is your bright-eyed smile (or goofy face), because kids don't care what you're wearing. All they care about is that you're present and that you're making time for them exclusively. They grow so quickly, and someday, they're not going to want to play with Legos or marble runners anymore. Don't look at playtime as an inconvenience or an interruption of the projects you want to get done. Appreciate those moments and make them happen. I know I'm going to try harder to do that this week, and I invite you to join in with me!

I do have to say that these overalls are def one of my staple pieces and perfect for playtime with all those pockets! I'm a fan.

Now before you get all choked up and teary-eyed and rush to your kid's room to demand that they play with you RIGHT NOW, stop by these other lovely mama's blogs and see what they have to say about their kiddos and toys!

Kiana | Glitter & Donuts

Madeline | CaseyLand

Jessica | Mason Jars and Lemon Bars

Britt | My Little Sunshine

Juli | Journey of J^3

Chelsea | Tessa Marie

Monica | It's All About

Melissa | The Frolics of Mama Llama

And if you want to join in on the collaboration next time, be sure to stop by Kiana or Madeline's blogs to signup! It's really fun. You should do it.

Good luck this week! Hopefully it's full of fun and quality time with your family because put those two things together, and you've got Heaven.

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Why I stopped apologizing to strangers for my toddler

Photos taken and post originally written July 16, 2016

It may be hard to believe ;) but when this girl was two, it was rough, friends. Really rough. It's easy to look back and laugh at now, but at the time, it was not. funny. I mean, add a new, de-throning sibling to all the emotional turmoil of being a two-year-old and you've got a mess. I felt like I was constantly apologizing to other moms for my daughter hitting theirs, taking their toys, giving them mean looks, ignoring them, and whatever else she was doing.

The worst was when she started biting. There was one time that I was worried that Alexa's finger would never work right again after Chelsea had bit it. It was that bad.

What was worse - well, more like equally bad - was the time she bit her cousin. They were playing and there was some kind of disagreement over toys and Chelsea bit her sweet little cousin hard enough to draw blood. I was horrified, embarrassed, lost, devastated, even ashamed of myself as a parent. I thought I had ruined my child somehow and that she would grow up to be a bully and never have any friends.

And my sister-in-law would have been totally justified in having a few words for me, or at least an increase in distance between us. But you know what? She didn't do any of that. You know what she did instead? She comforted me. And it wasn't even the type of comfort that was like "Oh, Susan. I'm so sorry that happened! It's rough having a two-year-old!" It was the type of comfort that made it clear that she had forgiven me and my daughter even before the event happened. She said to me something I will never forget. She said, "It's a hazard of being a toddler!"

I. Was. Shocked.

I shouldn't have been because Brooke is a total saint, but I thought for sure her Mama Bear was gonna come out. Well, it must have been hibernating in the cave because it never came. And mind you! This wasn't her fourth or fifth child that Chelsea bit, this was her very first.

It finally became clear to me at that moment that my daughter was just a two-year-old trying to make sense of her crazy life. She wasn't a monster or a bad kid. She was just a toddler, and situations like these are a hazard of being a toddler.

Now I'm not saying that we should just let our kids run rampant, biting whoever they see on the street (and you probably should apologize to the other parent if your kid has hurt theirs), but I don't think we need to go apologizing to the strangers in the store or on the street for every inconvenience and every nicety our toddlers forget. Our responsibility as parents isn't to be ashamed of them, to have a look of disapproval plastered to our faces as a default, interrupted on occasion by a sigh of exasperation for yet another inconvenience. Our responsibility is to teach them what is right and what is wrong. They don't come hard-wired with that intelligence. They do come with amazing potential and room to learn and grow, if those closest to them show them the way.

Being a parent is super hard. SUPER hard. A lot of people who aren't parents don't get that and some people who were parents but haven't been for YEARS forget that. They might look at  you disapprovingly, they might judge you, they might turn their noses up at you, they might even say something to you, but you know what I say?

Nothing. Because what I would like to say to them would be totally inappropriate.

So I'm done apologizing to you when my kid yells in the grocery store. I'm done apologizing to you when my kid turns from yelling to having a total meltdown on the floor. I'm done apologizing to you for behavior that comes from being a toddler. If an apology needs to be made, it will be made to the person that has been the direct victim of the "crime" and it will be delivered by the perpetrator. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking that her mother is ashamed of her and talks behind her back. I do want her to grow up knowing that she is accountable for her actions and that it's important to make up for the things she does wrong.

My daughter, though, at times can be difficult, trying, extremely energetic (like, all the time), particular, and passionate is also beautiful, thoughtful, giving, kind, and still learning. And if you have a problem with it, I apologize that it's been so long since you've had an amazing little girl like her in your life.

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Service Ideas for you and your Toddler | Yellow Quakies

the honey bear on the table has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
This post has been compensated by Yellow Quakies. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

A few weeks ago, Chelsea had kinda a rough day at church. It's true! She has those days, believe-it-or-not. ;) I was sitting in the third hour of my church meetings (Relief Society) and I heard wailing out in the hall. Of course, I recognized it as my daughter's, so I went out there to take care of things. Chelsea was sitting on her teacher's lap, her arms restrained, screaming her head off. I mean, this was wailing and gnashing-of-teeth-level, guys.

Turned out that Chelsea lost it because she really wanted to sit by her little friend in class, but her teacher (who had been suffering from a migraine all weekend, poor woman!) had said no because they were disrupting the class, and that was just totally unacceptable to Chelsea that day!

As you can imagine, I was feeling pretty bad for the teacher, and I felt like if I didn't do something, this experience would turn Chelsea against her teacher and put a HUGE strain on the relationship to the point where we'd have these kind of meltdowns weekly. So I decided that Chelsea and I would do something about it!

photo c/o Chelsea's teacher who still doesn't know it was us! shhhhhhh...

We heart-attacked her! Well, it wasn't totally a heart-attack because Chelsea wanted stars and flowers, and suns, too. The funny looking little man was my idea :)

Chelsea and I had such a great time drawing the shapes, cutting them out, and writing nice things on them, then sneaking up to their house to tape them to the house, and Chelsea ESPECIALLY loved ringing the doorbell and running away as fast as we could! We walked home, piggy-back, with huge smiles on our faces and warmth in our hearts.

I decided that I wanted to experience that warmth with Chelsea more often and so, have made it a Sunday tradition! I call it "Service Sunday!"

The hardest part of Service Sunday is coming up with the service activity. Luckily, I know a number of fabulous moms (you fabulous moms in my FB mom support group!) and @servetogether who helped me out! So here are a couple of ideas that I came up with myself, + some from my mom friends!

Heart-Attack someone's door

Bake cookies for someone

Color a picture for someone
Write a letter to someone - we have a couple of cousins on missions we love to write to!
Make a "Just Because" card for someone (click for printable front and inside - print front, then flip paper over to print the inside)

my printer wasn't working for some reason, but i wasn't going to let THAT stop us!

Go visit a nursing home
Go to a food pantry
Take flowers to someone
Take sandwiches to the homeless, or just sit and talk a while
Have a FREE lemonade stand!

So often it's not how you serve, but who you serve. Try doing some of these projects for your local police department! Those guys have been catching A LOT of flack recently.

I'll definitely put some activities on repeat, but I also don't want it to get old.

This necklace from Yellow Quakies will forever be a reminder for me and my kids (especially Chelsea) that when we give service, our hearts are full.

Good luck this week, friends! Go find someone to serve, and make sure to stop by Yellow Quakies - @yellowquakies - to say hello and see what else she has available! I am currently crushing on her Custom Couple pieces!

P.S. Chelsea was WONDERFUL in class the next week!

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Kids and Chores

If I had a dime for every time Chelsea flopped on the floor when I ask her to empty the dishwasher..

It would be much easier to just empty the dang spoons myself, but do I? No. Why? Because my four-year-old is fully capable of pulling her own weight around here. Heck, even my 1-year-old pulls her own weight with the dishes!

The reasons why kids ought to be taught to do chores is really kind of obvious, if you think about it... Chores teach them responsibility, teach them the joy of helping others, teach them the pride that comes from doing a job and doing it well, growing up and knowing how to clean without mom's supervision, yada yada yada... But if I'm being totally honest, the reason I make my kids do chores is because I don't want me and Dad to be the only ones doing things around here! These kids gotta share the load! All that other stuff is just a perk!

So what are some chores that your kiddos can help with? I've come up with a short list of chores that Chelsea (and sometimes Alexa) share in.

Emptying the dishwasher
Folding laundry
Sorting laundry
Picking up toys
Mopping the floor
Dusting
Loading the dishwasher
Clearing the table
Emptying garbage cans
Cleaning their rooms
Making their beds

Basically any household chore can be adapted to fit the abilities of a child.

But finding chores for our kids to help with isn't really the hard part. Getting them to do it isn't even the hard part. The hard part is allowing them to do it!

Any chore you assign your child to complete is gonna take 10 times longer than it would take you, but you've gotta let them do it anyway, and you've gotta let them do it their way.

In our minds, we have a particular way we like to have things done and it can be really hard to watch someone work out a problem their way, not ours. Having expectations for the end product of the chore is necessary, but allow your kids to work through the problem on their own! 

When you let your child figure out their own way of doing things, you're allowing them agency and assigning them responsibility, which is really the hole point of chores anyway, right?

For example, when I introduce Chelsea to a new chore, I'll tell her what needs to be done, tell her what I expect (all the spoons in this section, forks here, etc. etc.), and show her how I'd do it if necessary.

When I was little, my brothers and sisters started taking me to my Dad's office where we would clean. I was always in charge of cleaning the glass tables and stomping the leaves in the dumpster during the fall. When we cleaned the leaves (there were SO many!) I remember my sister always asking, "Does it look alright? Is there any possible thing that Dad could notice and make us do over again?" My dad was a stickler when it came to his lawn/landscaping and more than once my brothers and sisters and I had to practically re-do a job because it didn't meet his expectations. So, I learned how to work hard and do it right the first time around!

When I got older and could trim the bushes, my dad came out and told me that I was probably the best trimmer in the family (there are 12 of us, so that's saying a lot). When I would finish trimming the bushes, I would look at those plants and think, "Yeah, that one is really well rounded" and give myself a mental pat on the back. #findprideinhardwork

Am I totally perfect? No. Do I sometimes choose to do the chores myself instead of involving the kids? Yes. Do I exempt my children from ever helping out? Heck no! What are kids for if not for free labor? ;)

 

twins!!

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Dinner Time!

Raise your hand if your kiddos put up a stink at dinner time. Yeah. Mine too. There really is nothing more frustrating than making dinner for people who insist, whine after whine, that they "don't want dinner!"

Thank goodness it was a phase and Andrew and I were willing to try a few things that were different than normal. The term "throw in the towel" really made sense to me once when I literally threw the towel because of how irritated I was.

So what did Andrew and I do? There are a couple ideas we tried that helped turn things around. Maybe some of these ideas will work for you, too!
*Note: I wouldn't consider my children especially picky eaters. If your kids are extremely picky, please share what you've tried that has worked for you!

Eat dinner all together as a family without interruptions
When dinner becomes a time when the kids get to have some special time with mom and dad without other distractions or interruptions (I'm talking electronics here), they're much more willing to sit at the table.

Only make one dinner
Everyone eats the same dinner. The dinner that you prepare. You are NOT a restaurant!

Try serving dinner with dessert
I know. Weird, right? But have any of your parents served jello with dinner when you were a kid? Mine did! It made coming to dinner a lot more enjoyable for me and I've definitely noticed the same thing with my kids! I decide how much dessert they get with their meal, and serve it all together! And it doesn't have to be dessert dessert. My kids LOVE rolls. I make a huge batch of rolls on a day when I'm not busy, freeze them, and then I have them ready for the days I need something that my kids like to go with the thing they've never tried before but simply know tastes horrible.

Portions
I decide how much they get of each item so that they don't end up eating 73 "little trees" and 1 bite of tater tot casserole. 

Avoid bribery
Can you see how saying, "Finish all your food and then you get dessert" can make it sound like the healthy stuff is just the necessary evil to get to the heavenly heath cake? Another reason why it might be a good idea to serve dessert with dinner.
*if you serve Heath Cake as your dessert, please invite me over. 

Don't make them clear their plate
I like the "one bite" rule. We've all heard the "17 (or however many) tries before they know if they like it or not" thing, but you don't have to squeeze all 17 tries in one meal. Just require that they try at least one bite of everything you serve. If you have an issue with wasted food, think of it this way... You can waste food and emotional energy by bestowing it on disinterested children, or you can waste it in the garbage disposal (or you could just put it in a tupperware and save it for try 4 out of 17). 

Consistency
If your kids insist that they're not hungry anymore, warn them that this is all they are getting to eat tonight, so if they get hungry, you'll have their dinner on hand, AND STICK TO IT! No matter how much they beg for something else, no matter how hard the tantrum, do NOT allow them to eat anything other than the dinner you prepared! After a couple of nights of this, they'll figure it out.

If they're hungry, they'll eat
This is the ideology that helped me the most. Once I realized that my children have tummies that are perfectly capable of alerting their brains that they're hungry, I put it in my arsenal. I make sure I feed them a snack no less than two hours before dinner so that they will be hungry at dinner time and I don't say a word about the dinner I've made. I just make the dinner and serve it. End of story.

Do Andrew and I follow these tips every night at dinner? No. Have we completely eliminated meltdowns? No. Does dinner time go over better when I follow these "rules?" Absolutely.

What ideas have worked for your family at dinner time?

Good luck, Mama's!

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