So I've been thinking about this food thing... Chelsea started eating solids when she was 6-months old. About six months later, she was off breast-feeding and had a lot of little teeth she was excited to use on real-people food. Ever since then, it's been an adventure. Some days were really good, where I fed her at regulated times, with healthy foods and healthy portions. Some days were not so good. I wasn't in the mood to cook "for-reals" food and I'd get caught up in what I was doing so I didn't even think about how she was eating cheerios for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. Those were the days that, even if I was productive, I felt like were complete failures because of how whiny and grouchy little Chelsea was.
I love looking at those past situations and having "DUH!" moments where I wanna slap my fore-head and just laugh at myself. Sometimes I do! "Of course she was grumpy and grouchy! Look what you were feeding her! I'm amazed she was as good-natured as she was!"
Seriously, it's amazing the effect food can have on us, besides how it affects our bodies. I remember being asked on a date for a night when I had a choir rehearsal in college. I explained this to the guy and he said it wouldn't be a problem. He'd take me out right after rehearsal. I guess I can't honestly say that he had said something about taking me out to dinner, but either way, I was expecting it and by the time rehearsal was over, I was ravenous. He picked me up along with our double and we stopped at Dairy Queen... To get one blizzard. Blizzards are good, but not that good. The rest of the date was lame anyway, but let me tell you, the moment I received that Blizzard instead of even a sub-standard meal (at that point, one leaf of lettuce would have sufficed), I was mentally and emotionally checked out. Trust me. He didn't even get close to a second date.
But it even goes further than whether we eat or don't eat. Ever since we moved into our house and actually had an oven and a stove to work with, Chelsea's mood, and my own, have significantly improved. All of a sudden, we were eating real food that was well prepared. Step that up a notch once I came up with a list for variety and you've got yourself one happy baby (and momma!)
And all this got me thinking, as I looked over at my little girl sitting in her seat at the table, taking breaks from her grapes at snack time to look at me, scrunch up her nose and giggle... I may not be the best mom ever, but if my little girl is taking time to look at me and grin, like I'm the funniest, most beautiful, and wonderful person in the world, then I must be doing something right.
So keep trying. Keep working towards your goals and even if you don't make them right away, if you're working towards something greater, every day you'll be one step closer. Being a mom definitely isn't easy, but it is so worth it.
-Sue
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