Making up stories and crying a lot more than usual... but looking at the positives – life lately

Chelsea and I have started telling stories to each other. It started about a week ago. I'm not sure if Chelsea asked me to tell her a story first or if I offered, but we both have been loving it! Of course, I incorporate her name into the story, making her the main character of almost all my stories, which makes them all even better.

It's fun to challenge myself in coming up with an exciting story for Chelsea, and she tells me if it's exciting enough or not! There must always be an antagonist. If I forget to add one, in my haste to make a simple, sweet, story, or a quick story about how we need to share, Chelsea won't let me say "The End" until a bad guy has been inserted in there somewhere. The favorite thus far has been the one with two unicorns who go to a dragon's cave who has been flying down to the Unicorn's Village and trying to eat all the unicorns. The unicorns go up there, clean his cave, go grocery shopping for him, and make him pizza (because everyone loves pizza). When the dragon comes home, he says "Pizza?! I love pizza!" and they all become friends. Chelsea and Alexa loved this one because I made up a low voice for the dragon and they thought it was pretty funny.

Anyway, the point is, these stories have been really strengthening our relationship. Andrew and I have been pretty good for a long time at putting Chelsea to bed with a couple of good books and a little conversation (Alexa always just goes to sleep, but we'll add her in as she gets older) and I had the thought tonight that if we keep this habit up with Chelsea, it will become one of those memories for her that she carries until she's a mother, too. We'll all look back on these "pillow talks" with fondness. I know that I will.

an oldie that I know will be one of my favorite photos of all time (seen first here)

Life's been pretty rough for me lately. I've never been sapped of energy for such a long period of time in my life, and this third pregnancy is really doing a number on me. Throw in some totally wacked-out hormones and you've got yourself a hot mess. I'm not really a cry-er, at least, not since I was a little child (there ya go, siblings, I admit it). As a result of all these changes, though, you'd think I had been crying every day since I was born. It's been really tough on me.

The hardest part has been feeling like I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to be interested in everything, but when my mom and Andrew suggested taking a class to learn something new (an opportunity I would normally jump at), I found myself coming up with excuses to avoid failure, exerting any more energy than I absolutely have to, and avoid people all together. None of these excuses has ever stopped me in the past. Cue the water works.

I don't know what the solution is. I don't know if something will change and I'll somehow get all my energy back tomorrow, but I decided that I'm making some goals. Little goals that will hopefully help me to rediscover myself and lessen the tears.

After Women's Conference last night, I decided to change my perspective on this pregnancy. One of the speakers mentioned that when we have finished with our lives here on Earth and return to the Glory of our Heavenly Father, we will think, "Is that it? Are those trials all I had to endure?" That's not to belittle trials in any way because, they're pretty dang hard, but compared to the Glory we will receive from God if we remain true, our trials will seem "but a small moment." D&C 121: 7-8

When I give birth to this baby boy, I know it will feel the same. I also know that there are SO many women out there who would give anything to be going through what I am if it meant that they could have a child. My heart mourns for these women and I am ashamed that I have complained at all.

I don't know everything, but one thing I do know is that every single one of us is special. Divine. All of us are blessed with our lives and circumstances so that we can have experiences unique to us. Experiences that allow us to touch someone else's life, to provide them perspective that they otherwise would never know. That is why each of us is so important! That is why each of us is needed by our Heavenly Father! He loves you! You are important to Him, and He needs you.

All I'm saying is to not give up. I say it to you and, more especially, to myself. Dark clouds will pass and if you turn around, you'll see the sun reflecting off all the knowledge you now have and the truth that you now know. And you will have a unique and beautiful life ahead of you, one that still contains trials, but that you are fully equipped to meet head-on.

Thanks for reading today. I hope that you really do feel that you are special and important. Now excuse me while I go say a prayer of gratitude and cry tears of gratitude tonight.

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Choose Wisely: Quentin L. Cook

…when using social media, we tend to broadcast the smiling details of our lives but not the hard times at school or work.

 

We portray an incomplete life—sometimes in a self-aggrandizing or fake way. We share this life, and then we consume the “almost exclusively … fake lives of [our] social media ‘friends.’”

 

 

How could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you?

 

 

I am guilty. For the longest time, my excuse was that I didn’t like sharing negative things, that sharing the other things that were real were too personal. In many cases, they are, and I want them to stay personal. However I want to make a point.

Friends, if you don’t already know, or haven’t guessed yet, my life is not perfect. *Shocker!*

When I take photos for my tutorials, you don’t see the toddler half-naked in the bathroom playing in the over-flowing sink, or the unnecessarily angry scolding that comes afterwards. When I share about a little project that my two-year-old and I did together, you don’t know about the baby that had to cry for a couple of minutes so that we could finish.

Although I think of our home and lives as generally happy, fun, warm, and care-free, there are… those days…

Those days when Chelsea decides that she WILL NOT take a nap and Daddy has to come home to a VERY over-tired toddler and grouchy wife (I should point out that Alexa is nearly always happy. For reals). Those days when I’ve spent a little too much time on social media seeing how much happier everyone else seems to be than me.

So here’s the thing. I’m going to keep sharing the positive stuff. I’m going to keep taking tutorial pictures that are neat and clear, and I’m going to keep letting my creative juices flow, BUT (“everyone I know has a big but”) remember:

No one’s life (particularly mine) is perfect or always hunky-dory. We all get sad, depressed, jealous, angry, deflated, frustrated, and (oftentimes) just totally bushed.

And you know what?

 

 

It’s okay.

 

 

Each day, I will do what you do. I will do my best, repent, and try harder to be better than I was before, to be a little kinder, understanding, patient, tolerant, productive.

Every day is a new day, with a brand new start and no mistakes in it.

Each day, I get to repent and try again.

Let’s not be paralyzed or feel defeated because we think we’ve failed again. Let’s feel enabled through the Lord’s atonement to try again, because that’s what He wants for us.

Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Thank you for being examples to me and for just being my friends. I am so grateful for all of you who read my blog and appreciate me, my talents, and my family. I appreciate you, and hope that through the strange workings of cyber-space and the bloggo-sphere, I somehow offer you the same support and friendship. Thank you for always trying your best.

Thank you for just being you.

 

To read more from Elder Quentin L. Cook, click here.

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Lift the Goblet of Gratitude

“There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful.”

“It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God."

"But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.”

"This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair."

-Presient Uchtdorf, April 2014 General Conference

“Grateful in Any Circumstances”

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October 2014 Women’s Conference

-C. R. Gibson

Today I taught a lesson in Relief Society about love and kindness towards all men. I was amazed by the experiences that were shared by so many of the women in my ward. Of acts of kindness they have performed and acts of kindness that have been performed for them.

Last night, I felt that love and kindness was a major theme of the messages shared by the speakers. President Uchtdorf reminded me that all of us are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us. It’s not something that is earned or that is ever taken away. We will always be children of Heavenly Father, and that makes us divine.

Happy Sunday!

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General Conference (breakfast) and Easter Egg Hunting

One thing I think most people look forward to at General Conference time (besides all the inspiration you receive, peace you feel, and uplifting messages you hear) is General Conference breakfast! Here's how we do it in our house:

 
Mmmmmm... German pancakes with Nutella and Buttermilk Syrup (YUM! recipe here) plus some superbly cooked scrambled eggs. So simple, yet so delicious! And of course, you've gotta start the day/meal off right with a prayer!

It is so fun to hear Chelsea pray now. When she says prayers by herself, they go like this: "Heavenly Father. Amen." Of course, we direct her on what to say for the real prayers, and I love to hear her little voice thanking the Lord for our blessings and asking him for the things we want/need.

This weekend, we headed south from Layton to visit some of my family who live in Utah Valley. We painted Easter Eggs, played baseball, searched for eggs, ate lunch (and a lot of chocolate!), and just had a great time! Andrew's side of the family has a lot of children, but they're all at least five years older than she is, so it's quite a different experience for her when we get to spend time with my side of the family and her cousins (there are A LOT of babies in my family, and three of us are expecting at the moment!) It's always fun to be with family!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A family that loves each other really is the greatest gift a person can have. I thank the Lord every day for these amazing examples of service, love, unselfishness, and charity.

Until next time! Happy Sunday!

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Listening

I rode the bus to school back in the day. Most of the time, I was a good passenger and my bus drivers liked me, but every once in a while, I misbehaved. On one of these occasions, when I was in second or third grade, my bus driver got so upset with my behavior that she assigned me 50 sentences. Looking back on it, there's no way she had authority to make me do it, but I felt pretty badly. Ashamed enough to not want to tell my parents about it. When I got into the house, Mom was busy cleaning or preparing the house for guests or something, moving from one small chore to the next. I remember wanting to talk to my mom to ask her for ideas of something fun to do, or to help me with something little, probably, but she was so busy she had to remind me to be patient and to ask later. I didn't want to ask later.

After attempting multiple times to talk to her without success, I finally blurted out, "I HAVE TO WRITE 50 SENTENCES," complete with sad, teary voice, clenched fists, and all. At that, my mother turned around and stopped what she was doing to sit down with me on the couch and find out what was wrong. I even remember drawing out the story and details, emphasizing the drama of it, just so that I could keep my mother's attention.

"The essence of good listening is empathy,
which can be achieved only by suspending our
preoccupation with ourselves and entering into
the experience of the other person."

My mother has always been a great listener. Whenever I have had a problem that I want to talk about, she sits with me, look me in the eyes, and never interrupts until I'm finished with my story before she reminds me of the reality of the situation and points out some solutions. I have always appreciated this attribute in my mother, but didn't truly realize its value until my senior year in high school when mom was diagnosed with colon cancer.

"Loving parents share the moods of their children
and show it. It isn't exuberance or any other emotion
that conveys loving appreciation,
it's being understood, and taken seriously."

Without going into too much detail, senior year was rough for me, and mom was always there to listen to me and remind me that people do and say things without really thinking and that I do thoughtless things sometimes too. When she was diagnosed in March and started chemotherapy, I began to distance myself from her. I guess I was afraid of wearing her out, while she was already so weak, or burdening her with my meaningless problems. Whatever the reason, my mother and I lost something important in our relationship, and because of previous decisions with some of my other dear friends, they weren't as close as I needed them at that time (my own fault). Suddenly I was left very alone during a time when I was very vulnerable.

When I left for college immediately after High School graduation (literally, the day after), things got much better. I lived with a group of girls who became dear friends and, well, life is just better in college, friends. Eventually, I met Andrew. I'd always been intrigued with the strong, silent men because I viewed them as a shell to crack and always wanted to know what they were keeping back, and that is exactly the type of man Andrew is. Oftentimes, these men are also incredible listeners. Although our relationship started out as a regular relationship in Rexburg, where we saw each other just about every day and supported each other in our pursuits, much of our later relationship was phone-based, so listening was vital for the two of us, and since being married and having become parents, the importance of this characteristic has only multiplied.

"Being heard means being taken seriously.
It satisfies our need for self-expression
and our need to feel connected to others."

Michael P. Nichols, PhD

The Lost Art of Listening

Of all my dreams, hopes, and expectations for myself as a mother, the one thing that I pray for and strive for the most is to have the ability that my mother has to be a good listener. I feel that any good relationship begins with listening.

When we put ourselves aside to listen to someone else, they feel special and important; they feel that they are being taken seriously. Learning how to listen isn't easy, and most of us are pretty self-centered, to be perfectly honest (It's okay, it's totally normal and it doesn't mean your a self-absorbed jerk if you think about yourself sometimes). I know that getting to be as good a listener as I hope for will take time and practice, but that's what I desire for my daughter, for my children. I want to be the person they come home to who they can trust with any of their problems, who will listen to them and advise them when they're unsure of what to do. In all of my predicament conversations with my mom, I've noticed that once I've spilled what's been on my mind, uninterrupted, I'm much more receptive to what my mother has to say, and I have wound down enough emotionally to listen back, and when the conversation is over, I feel important, respected, and most of all, loved. This is the kind of relationship I want with my children (and husband, and... well, everyone really). I want my children to feel that they are taken seriously, that they are loved, and that they are important, because they are. They are the most important people in my life, and I want them to know that through my words, because I tell them that I love them and that they are important, bust most of all, I want them to know it through my actions. Through my ability to listen.

This weekend, we are all challenged to listen, although this listening may be different than what we are used to. We are all challenged to listen to a prophet's voice. This means that we prepare ourselves to hear whatever is to be said. Although it is impossible to interrupt them as they speak, we can still exhibit good practices of listening. We set distractions aside for a time so that we can focus on what is being said, we think about what they say and appreciate the fact that what they say is important.

The best part of this opportunity is that once we have listened with our full hearts and attention, our relationship with our Heavenly Father grows, because when we listen to the Prophet, we are actually listening to the Lord, who speaks through his prophet, Thomas S. Monson. The more we set aside time to listen, the more we learn, and the more peace and love we feel. I know this to be true because I have experienced it time and time again. Please make the effort to listen. You'll never regret being a good listener.

There are four sessions of General Conference. They begin tomorrow morning, Saturday, April 5 and conclude Sunday afternoon, April 6. The times of the sessions are (MDT):

Saturday

10:00 AM

2:00 PM

Sunday

10:00 AM

2:00 PM

Each session lasts two hours. They are available via live streaming here and on some TV and radio stations. For more information about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, please visit lds.org

Come listen to a Prophet's voice!

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